The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

GENRE:Teen angst
SOURCE: Theater Screening




Yes, I saw it and no, it wasn't that bad. Last summer I was intrigued by the Twilight series. I enjoy the show True Blood and I think vampires are pretty cool so I was like, "ok, I'm gonna read the books to see what's making all these teenage girls cream their pants". The books were ok, aside from the whole "be mormon and practice chastity undertone". The author made Edward Cullen very enticing I almost just wanted my bf to turn into a vampire. The first movie, Twilight, was ok. Typical teenage entertainment and it was tolerable. The story line is basically, girl moves to new town, girl is intrigued by mysterious boy, girl falls in love with boy, boy is a vampire. The second installment, New Moon, concerns the absence of Edward in Bella's life, due to an unforeseen incident. Since Bella is so butt-hurt that her eternal (literally) love is gone, she turns to her eventual werewolf friend Jacob for comfort. What killed the book and the movie for me was that long stretch without Edward. It bored me in the book and it bored me when I watched the movie because I had a little stretch of hope that my boredum would be relieved somehow. The best part of the movie was the end. It ended on a cliffhanger, and a good one at that. I usually hate when franchise films end each film with a nice little wrap up to start anew in the following film.
One thing that I appreciate about this movie is that they make Robert Pattinson irresistable and sexy when I perceive him as quite the contrary when he is not in vampire form. Another reason why I choose to watch these films is because I actually enjoy Robert Pattinson as a legit actor. I have seen him in other films, (no not just Harry Potter) and he it good at what he does. He plays his characters well and I respect him for that. Other than Pattinson, the acting was ok. Kristen Stewart has great facial expressions but thats the extent of her acting talent. Its hard for her to show true emotion in her delivery but I guess it doesn't matter when your making a slew of cash, correct?
Overall, regardless of my unusual male mentality when it comes to romance movies...boys, Twilight really isn't THAT bad. Lets say its a relaxing film. No brain waves required :) Oh, and the fighting is pretty sweet lol

The Dark Knight (2008)

GENRE: Action. better than transformers
SOURCE: personal collection






The Dark Knight is a movie that actually deserved to make the bazillion of dollars it did in the box office. Not only were each individual performances noteworthy, but the story line and level of action was both suspenseful and not too over board. Just to get it out of the way, as everyone should be aware, Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker was unforgettable. He turned Jack Nicholson's comedic, almost silly version of the character into someone so dark and ruthless it gave you chills. He deserved the oscar and he deserved all the hype and anticipation that was received once it was announced he would be playing this role.
On another note, I think Christian Bale is by far the best Batman. He enticed me in Batman Begins and didn't lose my attention in this film. I also love Aaron Eckhart and wish they kept him around for the next installment.
I will admit, there were a couple of things I didn't enjoy. First off, I really hate in films, especially franchises as large as this one, when they replace characters. I am talking about replacing Katie Holmes with Maggie Gyllenhaal. I don't know the exact reason why she left. I think I heard something about her just not wanting to play the part anymore, or maybe Tom Cruise and Zenu brainwashed her. Either way, in cases like those, I wish they would just write the character out all together. The other thing that I didn't enjoy about the movie was that it could have ended in multiple scenes. It was a long movie, but it kept my attention, but there were certain parts of the movie where it still would have been great if it ended earlier than it did. For one, I think that if it ended right after two face was visited in the hospital and before the joker decided to blow the hospital up, it would have been a perfect cliff hangar. You walk out of the theater not knowing the fate of either two-face or the joker, in anticipation to see how the next movie will develop. All in all, the anticipation for this film was well worth it, as i'm sure it was for the majority of people. Batman is the only franchise that I have always, and probably will always enjoy from beginning to end.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

GENRE: Action, Crappy action
SOURCE: movie theatre or every single time my bf turns on the television

NEIN NEIN NEIN!...But the sound effects were pretty cool.



I honestly do not have much to say about this film. I know it made a bazillion dollars at the box office but that has nothing to do with the quality of the actual film. People crave action and people crave anything to hold their attention. All the fight scenes just gave me a headache and disoriented me throughout the entire movie and the story line sucked. I can't wait for the third one to come out!

Jesus Camp (2006)...lord help us all

Genre: Religious Brainwashing Horror film
Source: Internet (Google videos)



I initially saw this documentary back when it was first released online. A lot of my bf's coworkers had seen it and suggested it as a "comedy". Plus, anything with the words "Jesus", "camp" and "comedy" in the same sentence must be awesome. Although I saw this almost two years ago, it still sticks out in my mind vividly because it was one of the most rediculous things I have ever seen. Since it was suggested to me to write a review on it, here we go.
Jesus camp is a documentary about an erratic evangilical/pentacostal what have you childrens christian summer camp in, get this...Devil's Lake, ND. Since the documentary was released, the camp has closed down and good riddance. I hope it hasn't reopened anywhere else because I could not believe what I saw. The first thing that really hit me hard was not the fact that these kids were religious, and not the fact that they were home schooled, but what they were being home schooled on. They had specialized textbooks created to refute evolution. Now, I was born and raised a catholic, but at the same time I am also a scientist. It hurts me in my heart of hearts that these parents have gone to such extremes to denounce science. From there on it really just got worse. The leader of the camp, a miss Becky Fischer, is such an extremist. Watching her so called "sermons" and choreographed dances that the children performed representing the army of God made me feel like I was watching a devil worshiping seance rather than a Christian service. I feel so bad for these children because they are so far gone and so emotionally devoted and brainwashed that I was surprised Miss Fischer didn't distribute cyanide kool-aid in the name of God. Documentaries can be critiqued on two different levels. First, the subject that is being documented and second, the quality of the documentary itself and how the director wants his/her audience to view this matter. I believe on those levels, this documentary is perfect. The subject is so breathtaking and awe-shocking that it's difficult not to watch and not to get emotionally invested in the welfare of these children. I also believe the director got his message across in the way it was filmed and I percieved that message as being "Help".

A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

Genre: Comedy, Funny Funny
Source: TV (IFC)



I have this book called 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die and I pretty much consider it my every-genre movie bible. It's not just comprised of the classic "great" movies (Citizen Kane, Casablanca etc.) but it also contains many hidden gems, really cheesy horrible movies that you must see, and movies that just make you warm and fuzzy inside. A lot of the movies I continue to review will be out of this book, considering it is my goal to watch all 1001. Unfortunately, I have only seen 183 of these films to date, including the one I am writing about right now.
I love movies from the 80's, and I love British humor. Put two and two together...i love A Fish Called Wanda! This movie has a great line up including Jamie Lee Curtis, John Cleese and Kevin Kline. Jamie Lee Curtis plays Wanda, a woman who pretty much uses her sex appeal to find the hiding spot of $20 million dollars worth of diamonds. She not only tricks every man in her path to fall in love with her, but in the end she eventually gets what she wants and then some. While on her journey, she ends up falling in love with a lawyer named Archie (John Cleese) who also happens to be one of her many victims and the lawyer of her partner in the jewel heist. What really pulls me in about this film is the diversity of humor in it. This film is filled with everything from classic american comedy, to dry british humor. It contains characters that stutter every word (very Monty Python esque) and characters that eat pet fish out of a tank and use it as a bribing mechanism (Kevin Kline was so great in this part. Not only was he extremely funny and insulting, but he won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for this role). This film is definitely one of the better films I have reviewed so far and now I understand why it is in my "Movie Bible".

Side note: is Kevin Kline Italian? I will bet anyone that they cast him in I Love You To Death after seeing him with his italian accent in this film. This is the second movie i've seen with Kevin Kline and the second time he shows off this thick accent! He either spent a lot of time in Italy or channeled Mario.

Suggestions

If anyone has suggestions for movies I should watch and review, feel free to post them as comments on this post or even email me. It's hard for me to pick movies myself because I will probably be bias towards movies I don't want to watch. You can't review all movies you love because that would be boring! :)

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)...not so much

Genre: Horror-ish?
Source: Personal Collection



Today is Veteran's Day and I have the whole day off. I asked my bf to pick out a movie from my collection to watch. Now, I stand by my collection, I really do, but at the same time some of the films I own I feel like someone mysteriously stuck them in there without me knowing. This is one of them. The Exorcism of Emily Rose is apparantly based off of a true story of a girl who becomes possessed by demons. I have nothing against a good possession movie because I personally believe that they do occur. The thing that bothered me the most about this movie is that it's not a horror movie. I actually don't know what kind of movie it is. The actual "scary" scenes were good for my standard. There is only so much you can do to show a demonic possession without it looking like The Exorcist (which by the way is my opinion of the scariest movie of all time). But the majority of the movie was just like watching a court case. It's really hard for me to say anymore about this because it really just confused me. I didn't even understand why the Priest was on trial in the first place and why *SPOILER ALERT* the jury would find him guilty but then decide that he already served his sentence. I label this movie a Drorror film. Acting good, direction bad, case closed.

I Love You to Death (1990)

Genre: Comedy, Dark Comedy
Source: Online (watch instantly)



I've been wanting to watch this movie for a very long time. Why you ask? Well, because River Phoenix is in it! So, instead of doing something important like homework, I started watching this on Netflix. Kevin Kline plays a stereotypical, Italian immigrant (who sounds like Mario) named Joey Bucca. He has it all, his own pizza place, lovely wife and family, and oh ya, he likes to have sex with almost every woman that crosses his path. Once his naive wife, played by Tracey Ullman catches on to his habits, she decides that killing him is a better option than divorce. As the film goes on, we realize that it's almost impossible to kill him! This is where hilarity ensues. River Phoenix plays the new age, hippy bus boy in love with Rosalie (Tracey Ullman) and does a wonderful job of doing it. Phoenix was one of those actors who was so versatile, he was convincing in every part.
I think this is a great dark comedy with very few flaws. I also believe it's a film that has definitely been overlooked. Not only do all the actors actually give a good performance, but they are funny while doing it. You almost feel sorry for Tracey Ullman and you catch yourself moving back and forth between wanting Joey Bucca to just die already, but at the same time you want him to live longer in anticipation of the next method of murder that will be attempted. If you ever decide to see this movie and you don't have Netflix, good luck finding it in the video store. It's sad this movie isn't in a wider distribution and syndicated on cable. I can think of a few movies they could replace with this one on TV *cough every movie they play on TNT cough*

Ginger Snaps (2000)...she sure did

Genre: Horror, Werewolves
Source: TV (IFC)



So continuing on my horror streak, I also watched the movie Ginger Snaps yesterday. Now, this is a movie that I would always see at blockbuster on sale in the pre-viewed section. I would always look at the cover and say to myself "when will people stop making these crappy horror films". Well, I was wrong. On Halloween I was browsing through the t.v. guide and saw that this was going to be on IFC. Well, if it's on IFC it must be semi-ok right? So i decided to DVR it. 

This is a Canadian film about two sisters who are more or less obsessed with death. When numerous dogs around the neighborhood are turning up dead with their guts pouring out from all ends, things get suspicious. Turns out there's a werewolf on the loose and later on it just happens to bite the oldest of the Fitzgerald sisters. While the oldest sister, Ginger, struggles with her newly formed identity, younger sister Bridgette scrambles to find a way to get her sister back. Their sisterly bond is broken yet mended many times throughout the film which is how I view natural sibling relationships in the first place (without the whole werewolf thing). Now, I wouldn't say this is a cinematic master piece or even a blockbuster, but it's just one of those films that is wholesome in terms of the fact that you don't need to think too much to understand what's going on. It's quite elementary and that's why I like it. The acting really isn't half bad either and it sort of has a dark comical vibe as well. This film would fall more into the category of Idle Hands except not sucky. Now, for future reference, if you get bitten by a werewolf and need a cure, just visit your nearest crafts store :) 

My First Review: Hostel (2006)

Genre: Horror, Slasher
Source: Rental (video store)



So, I've been on this horror kick lately. I use to be a huge horror buff when I was younger. And by younger I mean between 3-12 years old. But I still enjoy the genre and don't care what anyone thinks! haha OK. So, I've heard a lot about this film but never got around to seeing it so I forced my bf to go to blockbuster with me to rent it because I didn't want to disrupt my flow of Nip/Tuck dvd's coming through on netflix. 

Now, I love Eli Roth. Not only do I admire his original taste in films, but he's also super sexy. I really liked Cabin Fever but this was just bad. So much of the buzz on this film is that it's super gory and explicit. I personally don't think it's gory enough. There wasn't enough action. The majority of the movie was the lead character, played by Jay Hernandez, just wandering around looking for his friends. I don't know if the movie was too short or if there was just not enough torture scenes in it (as horrible as that sounds). I frankly found in boring. But, I will give Eli credit because the gore that I did see in the film was pretty up to par. If i was a guy, I would probably rate this movie a lot higher, but since my interest doesn't require a minimum of at least 20 pairs of boobs on screen for me to pay attention, that's not the case. Overall, I enjoyed the little background story of the quaint abandoned butcher shop/warehouse but in all honesty I think it fell short after that. Only in Eastern Europe!!!!